to party or not?

Birthdays are no doubt special occasion, if we want to see it that way. I am not particular about my birthday, but I do want to make D feel special on his birthday. And, I certainly want Ana to feel special, to know that we are happy to have her in our lives.

But, what is a good way to celebrate? Of course, that is completely subjective: what I enjoy doing in terms of celebration is not what the next person likes to do.

I grew up with low-key birthdays, where my mom made paisam and some favorite meal, we went to the temple, and if we could afford it, my parents would get me something from my wish list.

Plus, my birthday doesn't fall on the same day each year in the Gregorian calendar as my parents preferred celebrating according to panchanga nakshatra period in the Hindu calendar. Not much fanfare, no big parties, and it suited me just fine, I am quite introverted and prefer to remain inconspicuous. And, I do try to follow the panchangam and celebrate Ana's nakshatra birthday, just to keep up the family tradition I grew up with, if not for anything else...

I find birthday parties for kids, where 20-40 (or more) kids are invited, where perhaps Barney or a Clown is in attendance to "entertain", and where excessive sugary treats are served, to be a bit unpalatable for my tastes. Absolutely no offense to parents and kids who love to celebrate that way! Yay to all and let's do what makes us happy.

Left to myself I would rather "celebrate" Ana's Birthday in a simple get-together involving close family and friends who are willing to take the time to stop by, break bread with us, mingle, catch-up and just relax the day away, while the handful of assembled wee ones try to do something fun.

Am I taking away a part of Ana's childhood by not throwing lavish parties? Am I depriving her of some developmental and emotional need by not getting her "friends" together and having a gala affair? She is not yet two, so, she doesn't really have friends. But, down the road, when she is in school and I don't have a huge party, will that affect her adversely?

I do not believe so, but, everything is subjective. And, peer pressure is a strong and compelling influence. While I do not want to have to throw extravagant kids' birthday parties, I am sure if the community and society I live in expects reciprocal action from me, I would have little choice in the matter, without appearing anti-social and plain rude.

Why am I rambling about this? Well, D & I were wondering what we would like to do for Ana's birthday this year, and thankfully we both agreed on a quiet and simple family get-together - maybe half a dozen kids, and a dozen or so adults.

Only Time and possibly Ana can tell how we end up celebrating her birthdays over the coming years, but, for now, making her the center of attraction (shouldn't be hard as the entire Universe revolves around her at this age!), letting her know she is loved very much, seeing her enjoy & appreciate any birthday "gift" we manage to get for her, wishing her well, wishing her joy and just spending a few hours together with the close company (which doesn't happen otherwise due to the busy lives we all lead), is in itself a wonderful treat!