Mommy's Secret Night Life

2:55 am -- restless Oggie's stirring indicates his readiness to nurse again, so, I try to ready myself to pick him up and feed him before he wakes up fully and decides to stay up a couple of hours talking and kicking

3:20 am -- while still nursing him for the last 20 minutes, I hear Ana moaning in her room, stirring a bit and then screaming that her drinking water is all gone and she needs more; so, i gently put Oggie down mid-feeding, risking him waking up furious, and make a mad rush to refill the water for Ana and kiss her back to sleep

3:21 am -- Oggie barely realized he was sucking his fingers with no results, thankfully, so, I tactfully replace the baby hand with the boob and let him empty the current supply

3:40 am -- after seemingly good and powerful nursing, I test if Oggie is ready to let go, but he pulls me back in with a tight latch. Phooey!

3:45 am -- I try again and this time he lets go so I carefully pick him up and put him in his bed; two seconds later he screams like someone pinched him hard and starts kicking vigorously and gets progressively mad; so, I resign myself to fate and pick him up and trek over to camp in the rocking chair

4:45 am -- gosh, can he be asleep? i lift his free arm a bit and let it go, it drops limply with no stirring or notice; i shift him a little, still no movement from him in response; good; i manage to extricate myself from the horrible posture on the rocking chair and walk as if on egg-shells cursing (silently, of course) the hardwood floor creaking under my feet as I head back to the bedroom to put him back in his bed and hopefully resume my sleep

5:15 am -- why have i been checking the clock every 5 minutes for the last 30 minutes? why can't i just close my eyes and fall back into deep slumber? i think i might be drifting off any minute now...

6:20 am -- "I peed!", "I Peed!", "I PEED!" wakes me up as Ana gets progressively annoyed that I didn't materialize next to her as soon as she whispered the news the first time; her little potty is in her room these days so she can get out of bed and use it as needed at nights without soiling herself and the bed; while she still needs me to wipe her poopy bottom, she is perfectly capable of using the wipes after peeing; however, for some reason, at nights/early mornings, she insists on my presence every time she pees; so, i grudgingly go to her, take a deep breath and manage a smile and laud, "Good Job, Ana! You peed in the potty! You didn't wet your bed! You are such a big girl now!", hug her and convince her that despite Summertime dawns happening at the ungodly 5 am, it is still "bedtime" and put her back in bed and head back to my room... only to find Oggie kicking off his blanket and sucking his hands loudly, wide awake!

6:30 am -- having managed to ignore Oggie's demands for about 10 minutes now, guilt starts gnawing, reprimanding me for favoring sleep over baby's needs (not that he is starving or anything), so, I pick him up again and nurse a bit, my head lolling pathetically as I sit on my bed with pillows propped up everywhere in an effort to provide lumbar-support, elbow-support and neck-support

6:40 am -- Ana starts playing with her musical toys which stream in through the monitor with jarring clarity and it looks like Oggie doesn't care to go back to sleep yet, so, I give up and change his diaper, throw lots of cold water on my face and bring him out to the living room and set him down while I start some coffee (decaf, of course)

6:45 am -- i greet Ana in her room again, gently but firmly refusing to read her the story she insists, promising to read it later during the day and head over to the kitchen again to fill her request for her morning coffee juice

7:00 am to 6:00 pm -- this is too packed to fit here and has to wait for another post

6:00 pm -- Oggie is napping for the last 15 minutes - his short nap before bed time; so, i make dinner for Ana and myself**

6:15 pm -- Ana is served dinner, which she insists on eating out in the patio; fine by me; I sit there with the Oggie monitor; Ana is yakking away, barely eating her food

6:20 pm -- i am beginning to lose patience, "Ana, Hurry up! Finish your dinner; then it is shower, jammies and bedtime, OK?" "No, Amma. I don't want to!" ;It takes all of my patience and then some to not yell back, "I don't care if you don't want to, you just have to because I am your mommy and I say so!"; "So, Ana, What happened to Nemo when he didn't listen to his daddy?" "Diver caught him in a trap, Amma, and put him in a fish tank" "That's right, Ana. Now, eat 5 bites, I'll count O--n--e, T--w--o..."

6:30 pm -- Oggie screams and is awake so I bring him out and put him in the patio on his bouncer; he loves watching the birds and even watching his sister singing and blabbing away; Ana requests, "Feed me, Amma, please?"

6:55 pm -- I managed to feed Ana her dinner and convince her to get in the bathroom while I put her dishes away, bring Oggie in from the patio and park him in front of his Baby Mozart DVD (Gosh! What did mommies do before Baby-specific DVDs came along? I wouldn't dare park Oggie in front of TV programming...); Ana gets her quick shower, then brushes her teeth

7:15 pm -- Ana is in her jammies, ready for bed and has picked out two, only two, books she wants me to read to her; meanwhile, Oggie gets restless as he wants to nurse, so, I bring him in to Ana's room, let him nurse while I read to Ana

7:30 pm -- Ana is tucked in for the night; she usually reads, plays with her dolls in bed, and eventually falls asleep by 8:30 or so; I set Oggie down with his play gym hoping he will play a bit and get tired enough for bed again; unload and reload the dishwasher as the sink is full of dishes again and i hate to leave it overnight;

7:45 pm -- I give Oggie his bath, get him in his jammies and ready for bed

8:00 pm -- while I am trying to separate nursing from sleeping, he doesn't seem ready to, so, I nurse him for a bit, hoping he will doze off and I can set him down and catch my breath; "I Pooped!", "I POOPED!", "I POOPED!" becomes hard to ignore, so, I lay Oggie down, mad at being unlatched and unattached, and rush over to wipe Ana , empty her potty and kiss her for pooping in her potty like a big girl and head back to finish nursing Oggie

8:15 pm -- Oggie is done nursing, finally lets me go, but, is still awake; so, i set him in his bed and walk away to the patio for a few minutes to unwind before the night ordeal begins

8:30 pm -- Oggie screams like mad, eyes barely awake; so, i rock and pat him to sleep and finally heave a sigh of relief so I can go and brush my teeth, wash my face and read a bit before sleep overcomes me

8:45 pm -- I've checked on Ana, she is finally asleep; i am in bed, reading my current book from the library, exhausted and ready to sleep straight for the next 2 days when Oggie screams at the top of his lungs - his usual cry when he is mad about not being able to pass gas easily at nights; so, i pick him up, pat his back till he burps, then seeing that he still is in some discomfort, bicycle his legs and rub his tummy till he passes gas that sounds like a muffler-less motorcycle roaring by; he droops like a wilting flower indicating he has some relief now and can be put in his bed

9:00 pm -- I look at the clock one last time, hoping and praying that both the kids will sleep fitfully without any discomfort for the next 3-4 hours at least, yep, that's all i ask, a few hours at a time...

11:55 pm -- why am i checking the clock now? did i really get two-plus hours of sleep at one stretch? why am i not still asleep? am i filling up enough again? should i express some or let Oggie have some? while i lay there debating, Oggie makes the decision for me; i silently start reciting my favorite slokas

12:15 am -- Oggie is done nursing and was kind enough to continue sleeping, so, he is back in his bed with a gentle snore; i am getting ready to settle back in; "My Music is Off!" "I WANT MY MUSIC ON!" takes me to Ana's room to turn her music back on; most nights Ana goes to bed to her favorite music; she picks out what she wants to hear and I play it in repeat mode till she falls asleep; and by 9pm, when I know she is asleep, I turn it off; so, when she wakes up in the middle of the night and is trying to get herself back to sleep, she gets mad if she realizes her music is off!

12:20 am -- Phew! I WANT SOME SLEEP, PLEASE! I scream silently in my head and settle back down in my bed; i start reciting another of my favorite slokas in my head and catch myself promptly drifting off...

2:55 am -- jump up to the top of this post - the cycle starts again :)

Why isn't D answering Ana's calls, you ask?

**Well he was out of town for a while. Ana refused to let my parents help her at nights and I didn't want to disturb them at nights, so, I took on full responsibility of the kids at nights.

And, now that my parents are away visiting my brother, and now that D is back home, why am I still answering Ana's night calls?

It's because D loves his sleep. And, I am a mommy twice-over, who still needs to be needed.

Besides, D didn't want to be up with Oggie at nights, so, he decided to use the spare room to catch his beauty sleep. So, sweet ol' me trying to be his conscience, moved Ana's baby monitor receiver to his spare room hoping he will rush to meet her needs at nights while I manage Oggie on my own; but, turns out, the baby monitor is only useful if the receiver's volume is not zeroed out - and D promptly killed the volume on the monitor I helpfully placed by his bed!

Oh, and this is one of the "good" nights here. Such nights seem like a breeze compared to the ones 10 days ago when Ana got her ear infection and about the same time Oggie got his first cold, while D was out of town! I can't wait to see how Oggie handles teething in a few months...

In all of this, I only hope that I do my best to make them feel comfortable and secure and loved; I sincerely pray that they don't get into too much of a discomfort that I feel helpless; and I desperately implore God to grant me the necessary patience to stay calm and attend to their needs at least adequately enough for them to feel comforted.