Friday, August 31, 2007

cut-out sewing toy update

So, whenever I get a chance I go back and update an earlier post with a photo or two - just for my satisfaction, my record... (and take the chance to correct any typos or miscommunication as well).

Turns out, a few times when I queried my parents they missed the photo updates altogether, reasoning, "We've read that post already - but if you tell us when you update it, we will go back and read it". Which seemed a bit tedious and counter-intuitive - I mean, what's the point in posting in reverse-chronological order and having them go back?!

So, I have decided, at the risk of repetition, posting the updates as a separate post:-)

[Finally, I am catching on to this blog-thing!]

Now, in my earlier post, I had written about the first item on Tharini's rainy day activities list that inspired me to make the cut-out sewing thing - a pig and a fish, out of craft foam sheet.



And, as this was the firs time I came across it, I naturally leaned towards using a yarn needle for letting Ana "sew" the holes in the pieces. And wasn't happy that I had to supervise closely whenever she wanted to do this activity.

Then I had a lightbulb moment!

I pulled out a shoelace from an old shoe of hers and started using it for "sewing" the foam cut-outs!





Seems like Ana likes this better than the needle. And, it still seems to provide the necessary fine motor exercise as she threads the shoelace through the holes... Mostly, she likes to do whip-stitch style - just bottom to top through each hole, which is fine by me:-)

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To respect the "Please" or not?

Well, no question, really, it has to be respected.

But, of late, it is making my life as a demonstrative mom a bit difficult...

Take for example, the other day, I was cuddling Ana for a bit sitting on the sofa, and she spotted a toy she wanted to go get, but, I held her in my tight hug about 5 seconds longer than she could tolerate when she strongly said, "Amma, LET GO, Please"!

I had to.

We were playing this game where I tickle Ana out of her current bad mood. Sort of like "Slowly, slowly, very slowly, Creeps the garden snail" thing, I remembered that in Tamil my mom used to sort of "walk" her index and middle finger up my leg repeating, "Nandu varuthu..." or something - the idea being, no matter how cross you are, you can't help feeling ticklish and laughing when the fingers walk up your leg, torso, and right to your tickle spots...

So, I was walking my fingers along Ana's baby chubby leg when in a no-nonsense tone she said, "Amma, leeb my leg alone."

I naturally ignored it and kept going.

She tried it again: "LEEB MY LEG ALONE, AMMA", and I kept going (tut-tut, indeed) and then, all of a sudden she pulls the trump card and says, in an even tone:"Amma, leeb my leg alone, PLEASE?"

I had to.

Her favorite words when she is mad at me or D is to say, "Go Way!" (Go Away), hoping that she can get rid of us just like that. We usually ignore it, and if she is receptive, we try to tell her that we don't talk that way to each other. Mostly, she uses it at bedtime like so:

The usual ritual is to pick out about 7-8 books from her bookshelf, pile them on the floor, and as and when we read a book, we leave the book with Ana, in a separate stack. The idea being, once the parent-stack is empty, Ana needs to turn in.

The sneaky little monkey that she is, when I have finished my round and am ready to tuck her in, she starts a bit of a fuss and asks for Appa. If Appa is around, he usually stops by to kiss her good night, and when she has him there, she politely commands: "Amma, Go Way! Appa, read the book, please..."

Now, D knows I have read the full round, so, he tries to distract her and continue the ritual of tucking her in. But, a very insistent "Amma, Go Way Please"! sends me out of the room leaving D to deal with reading the books again another round!

Little girls! Just too darned precious for their own good?!

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

fine motor skills

I was trying to read up more on how to encourage the development of fine motor skills in toddlers, as I had tried almost all the activities I had short-listed in my previous read about six months ago...

...when coincidentally Tharini had posted a list of rainy day activities, and I zeroed in on the first one she had listed there.

Ana already does a lot of dressing and undressing of her dolls. She loves to scribble and color with her crayons - just chicken scratches basically, but, she likes to hold the crayons and markers and pretend to draw in her notebook, loves to play with her home-made play dough...and, at her daycare, they do a lot of fill-and-dump, stack-the-blocks and such activities..

Plus I made a little toy snake of sorts to help her learn the basic fastening techniques of zipper, velcro™, buttons, lace and snaps as a birthday present.

This toy is not an original idea, obviously, but, D was keen on getting something like this for her and instead of store-bought (and sturdy, child-safe) one, I figured this snake toy would be my gift for Ana's first birthday... Besides, D and I are of DIY stock (Do-It-Yourself)... And, this snake toy has lasted a whole year now and it is still holding up well and keeping Ana interested :-)

children's toys snake toy dexterity fine motor skills

But, the cut-out sewing activity that Tharini had listed caught my attention and was itching my crafting skin badly, so, I decided to make a couple at home just as a trial.

I used simple craft foam sheets, permanent markers and single-hole punch. Rather than perfection, I was going for a rustic look. (OK, I admit it, my drawing skills are not as good as my cooking skills). So here it is...

children's toys snake toy dexterity fine motor skills

The needle I am using is the standard yarn needle which is blunt and has a large eye. I also have plastic yarn needle but am sure the little baby of mine is strong enough to break it - she bites into plastic spoons and breaks them, so, I decided to stay with metal blunt yarn needle which is large as well... and not that I am planning to leave her unsupervised with it either.

I haven't managed to get a picture of Ana trying to "sew" the pig and the fish, but, when I do, I would love to update this post...

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Kids Games: Memory cards

memory pairs children's card game concentration
Concentration or Memory is a simple game that helps improve memory in children (and adults). There are several versions of this game. Some involve objects, but this here is for little Ana, with home-made cards.

The cards are laid out face down. Each player takes a turn and flips 2 cards at random. If the cards match, they get to keep the pair. If they don't, they put it back exactly where they flipped them. The memory part is that, they should try to remember which position had which card, so, that as the game progresses, the matching act becomes less of a random guess and more of a test of memory.

For Ana, the maximum number of cards I use at a time is 12 - which involve 6 pairs, with each pair having a particular picture she easily recognizes and can match without any shred of doubt.

These are home-made cards, so, when I detect some wear, I make new ones. They are not as sturdy as the store-bought laminated cards, and the pictures are not as pretty and colorful.

memory pairs children's card game concentration

Supplies I used: card stock paper, paper cutter, rubber stamps, rubber stamp ink pad, some construction paper and dye-cut punch, pinking shears, glue stick.

memory pairs children's card game concentration

We don't use color cartridges in our printer, so, I didn't try to design graphics on my computer and print them out. At some point, I would like to print out just the black&white outline and color them, rather than using rubber stamps.

But, the reason I chose to use rubber stamps is so that I can make the cards with Ana. She likes to help me make things, even if she has no clue what I am making. "Let's make some memory cards, Ana" is all I had to say the first time, and when she saw me gather my supplies and settle down, she faithfully sat next to me, observing for a while, then asking to try and glue the flowers at the back and so on... Of course, I always go back and "adjust" it so it looks more uniform.

She is fascinated by the pinking shears and knows it as "Amma's soosuss" (scissors) and has her own plastic scissors with which she tries to clip her hair, her toys and such, of course, without success as it is just toy scissors.

And, while I try to rubber stamp her memory cards as uniformly as I can, she has a blast stamping on her "art" notebook. Her preferred ink color is the turquoise blue, for some reason!

Anyway, as she gets older, I hope to have fun having her design her own cards, and more of them - I can't wait to play with about 50 cards all laid out and trying to match them from memory with Ana...

D and I play with Ana. We don't really insist on turns, as sometimes Ana is so carried away with flipping that she does manage to get all the pairs. This can be played like Solitaire, so, if we can encourage her to get into this game, we could let her play on her own down the road and enjoy the "free time" we get meanwhile ;-)


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Monday, August 27, 2007

soap box derby 2007


What is it that has Ana's and my keen attention, you ask?

We had gone to cheer the participants at this year's soap box derby.

As we live not too far away from Mount Tabor, and we take her to the children's park there on and off, it seemed like a good opportunity to introduce Ana to the local annual event, and D gets to check out the new designs in the hope that someday he will come up with his own soap box race car :-)

Well, it was this little mobile that Ana absolutely was fascinated with:

soap box derby 2007
It is hard to tell from this "action" picture, but it is a circus mobile of sorts with all kinds of animals - tiger, giraffe, elephant and such... naturally :-)

We didn't stay till finish as Ana was getting anxious to jump up from our vantage spot on the wayside - about 2 feet from the course/road - and try to follow the vehicle!

Read More...

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Kids Games: Candy Land


D grew up playing many of the classic board games here and has been keen on introducing Ana to her first board game. So, he got her Candy Land - a game I had never played before and never knew about as a child.

Candy Land is very simple: Start at the Start, and as the game advances move towards the Candy Castle, which is the Finish. Upto 4 players can play at a time, each has their own pawn to move on the board.

Now, how does the game advance? Well, shuffle the given deck of cards and place them face down at the start of the game. Each player takes turns and draws one card. The cards have either one color block, or two color blocks, or a picture. The path is a rainbow path of colors - one color per cobblestone step that you advance on. The picture cards let you either jump forward many steps or fall back (falling back can be skipped for little players).

So, if you drew a card with one purple block on it, then find the first purple space on the forward path and put your pawn-self there. If you drew a card with two blue blocks, advance to the second blue space in the path towards the candy castle. If you draw a picture card like gingerbread or candy cane or licorice, simply advance to that picture space on the path.

What I like about this game:
1. Bright colors, baby-(girl)-friendly
2. Concepts of colors, color-matching, and counting
3. Simple rules and enticing finish (what little girls doesn't want to get to the candy castle and imagine herself to be the princess or something?)

What I did not like:
1. Glorifying candy in a not-so-subtle way, even if subliminally.
2. Difficult for small children to figure out which direction to move - the path is winding and has no clear indication
3. Orange is pretty close to red - at least the printed colors on the board - so, small children can get confused about colors when adult tries to correct them

Candy Land is a very simple board game, possibly a nice first board game for Ana. She seems to love the vivid colors on the board.

She has the concept of taking turns as we do it in other activities- like, when we are out at the park having fun and want to get a drink of water, I open the water bottle, let her have a sip and then tell her it is "Amma's Turn" and I take a sip, then she says, "Ana's Turn" and takes a sip and so on... so, it helps to know that. Now, there is no guarantee that she will respect and follow it at the game :-)

She also seems to have the concept of counting quite well, at least up to 5 or 6. I mean, she can recite her numbers all the way to eleven, in proper order, and recognize the numbers, but, as far as counting a given number of items goes, she seems to lose patience after say five or six and rattles off "saban, ate, ten" and gets it over with. But, this game just needs for her to know up to 2, which is a breeze, thankfully.

Of course, colors, she can recognize colors in English and Welsh, so, when she plays with D, she just calls out the card colors in Welsh! porffor=purple, melyn=yellow, glas=blue and so on. I couldn't remember half the colors in Tamil, so, I gave up teaching her colors in Tamil...

She is still a little young at two years and 4 months for staying focused on the game till finish, but, she seems to be interested - even if for short periods of time, before something else catches her fancy and she leaves the game hanging... which is fine by me. By about age 3 or so, she will get the hang of it and enjoy it more, I am sure.

What would I have liked to pick as her first game? The classic Memory game - well, we do it at home with just cards I make... but, it is not as sturdy, colorful and attractive as the manufactured ones.

To make a simple memory game, I use card stock paper cut to same size, and stamp the images on the cards: two cards will have the same identical stamp for finding and matching. I have many stamps like ladybug, fish, birthday cake, flower, seahorse and so on. So, it is easy to just stamp two cards with each rubber stamp and shuffle them and lay them out for her to play. Maybe I will dedicate a separate post to these memory cards one of these days...

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

Baby Books List 1


While Saffron Tree is a wonderful resource for children's books, Kay gave me the impetus to chalk up a book list of sorts here - nothing lofty and tedious, just some fun classic and not-so-classic books that we can read to our babies from as early as 2 months old.

This list is by no means exhaustive or comprehensive. This is just a short list of books that were a hit with Ana.

Most of these initial books are board books as they are sturdy and have withstood Ana's saliva and teeth well. And this is just a sample list, not her entire library.

I like to borrow books from my public library and give it a chance. If Ana loves it too much, I end up buying them for her, within reason. Many books from the library have been a disappointment, so, before I plonk hard-earned money, I like to run it by Ana if I can :-)

I've tried to group them according to when I first introduced the book to her. We continue reading some of her early books even now - except she "reads" it herself, without my help. So, the age range is not to indicate when we started-stopped reading that set of books to her, but just a rough indication of when I got around to reading them to her for the first time...

She is not even 2½ yet, so, I would like to keep adding to this list as and when we hit upon a favorite... at least I've made a start here...

0-6 months: mostly rhyming books, with very few words, and bright baby-friendly illustrations and pictures and so on like:

Mr.Brown Can Moo Can You? -Dr.Seuss
I Spy Little Book -Jean Marzallo (*Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Gold Seal Award 1998)
Goodnight Moon -Margaret Wise Brown
Brown Bear, Brown Bear -Eric Carle
Hop On Pop -Dr.Seuss
Classic Books With Holes Series board books of popular rhymes like Five Little Ducks, Ten Little Monkeys, There was an Old Lady, This is the House that Jack Built and so on
Some interactive books like Crazy Animals, Lucky the Duckling and such where there is a built-in toy to squeeze or squish or rattle so the baby gets to do something when we turn each page.

6-12 months: nursery songs, animals, Mother Goose nursery rhymes - board books still, but, with songs/tunes, and pictures of animals, babies and such that they recognize well, repetitive text, something that develops prediction skills like the Brown Bear series of books by Eric Carle, and even some lift-the-flap style books, introducing colors and such:

Guess How Much I love You -Sam McBratney
Very Hungry Caterpillar -Eric Carle
Polar Bear, Polar Bear -Eric Carle
Panda Bear, Panda Bear -Eric Carle
Ten Apples Up On Top -Dr.Seuss
The Foot Book -Dr.Seuss
I Spy (Letters and Numbers) -Jean Marzallo
Nursery Rhymes, Farm Animals Touch-and-Feel and such...

12-18 months: more wordy books with rhyming verses, possibly some sort of story, vivid action-oriented rich illustrations that bring out the words, mostly board books, but regular books with heavy-duty kid-proof pages are good too, Rebus style lift-the-flap books, multicultural books and so on like:

My Granny Went to Market -Stella Blackstone
Alphabeasts -Wallace Edwards
Peter Rabbit -Beatrix Potter
The Tooth Book -Dr.Seuss
The Lorax -Dr.Seuss
Dr.Seuss's ABC's book -Dr.Seuss
I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew -Dr.Seuss
Toot and Puddle books-Holly Hobbie

18+ months: Ana seems to gravitate towards books with some sort of lilt or rhyme, but, she also likes books with good illustrations and some form of story; around this time is when I started introducing more counting books and consciously tried to teach her counting - as by now she could recognize the numerals she learnt from the I Spy Little Numbers book...

Red is the Dragon -Rosseane Thong
Who Are You, Baby Kangaroo? -Stella Blackstone
Prita Goes To India -Dr.Seuss
Tiger On A Tree -Dr.Seuss
Gruffalo -Dr.Seuss
The Color Kittens -Dr.Seuss
Owl Babies -Martin Waddell
Fox on Socks -Dr.Seuss

p.s: There are a few Welsh and Tamil books that have been a hit with Ana, which I have not listed here as they are not readily available at the library or bookstores locally.

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Lorax

children's books reciew book list the Lorax dr.seuss
The Lorax,
by Dr.Seuss.

The author, Theodor Seuss Geisel, needs no introduction. A master of his craft, his unique style has entertained and educated many of us since childhood. Some books are silly and fun, some are just ridiculous rhymes, but every once in a while, when he does get serious, Dr.Seuss blows us away with his inimitable work, leaving a lasting and indelible impression on our souls with his powerful message.

The Lorax did that to me.

Published in 1971, when people's awareness of our planet's potential plight was just awakening, this book rings ominously and lamentably true in today's world of apathy and lack of accountability regarding the ecology of our Earth, our home.

What was the Lorax, why was it there?
Why was it lifted and taken somewhere
...
wonders a little boy at the start of the book, when he is directed to the far end of town where the grickle-grass grows to ask the old Once-ler, as he knows.

A careless and simple Once-ler, many years ago, comes upon the gorgeous land with Truffula Trees, Humming-Fish, Swomee-Swans and Brown bar-ba-loots, all co-exiting and thriving gleefully.

Captivated by the softness of the Truffula Tree tufts, he chops down just one tree at first, to make a beautiful Thneed (It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove. It's a hat. A Thneed is a fine something that everyone needs).

That's when the Once-ler is first confronted by The Lorax.

I am the Lorax, I speak for the Trees, I speak for the trees as the trees have no tongues, he says.

When the Lorax admonishes the Once-ler for chopping the tree to make the fool thneed that nobody needs, right then, a chap comes along and buys the said thneed.

Encouraged by this single sale, the Once-ler soon establishes a factory, inventing the super-axe-hacker to chop down four truffula trees in one smacker, and calling his brothers and uncles and aunts to come help mass produce the thneed.

Soon, the water is polluted by his factory, the air thick with toxins. The Swomee Swans and the Humming Fish are forced to leave to find a better habitat that will let them survive. The brown bar-ba-loots who ate the truffula fruits have nothing to eat and nowhere to rest...

The Lorax confronts the Once-ler, pleading on behalf of the brown Bar-ba-loots who have crummies in their tummies as they don't get to eat much. But, the Once-ler shoos the Lorax away saying business is business and business must grow, regardless of crummies in tummies you know...

Well, rather than tell it myself, as the master so perfectly blends the magic of rhyming verses and brilliant illustrations to prod the senses, I'll leave the details of the story and skip to the end.

The now remorseful Once-ler unfolds the tale of the destruction he wreaked. Just when the reader's heart is about to break, the book ends with the beacon of hope when the Once-ler drops a Truffula seed and says,

"Unless".

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot..."

This would be a perfect book for early introduction to environmental education and am sure my 7-year old niece would certainly appreciate the theme and the presentation, even if she cannot relate to the ever-popular corporate approach of profits at the cost of our ecosystem.

Ana (my 2¼ year old) loves this book, although I am sure she doesn't quite get the pithy subject of caring for your environment and doing the right thing that the book deals with.

To me, the brilliance of the book lies in the ending where Dr.Seuss leaves us with the message that our chances of survival now lie in the hands of a caring child - and that child could be you, my dear Ana!

And, that child could be each and every one of the little (and not-so-little) ones we read this book to...

In my naive mind, here is an imaginary conversation I have with Ana 4-5 years from now, thanks to The Lorax:
Me: Look at all the birds in the backyard. Where do you think they sleep at night?
Ana: On our tree over there? Maybe in their little nests?
Me: Yes, possibly. And look at the humming birds sucking on the flowers in the tree. What happens when the flowers are gone and there is nothing to drink from?
Ana: Oh they will drink from our humming-bird feeder, I am sure.
Me: What happens to all these birds and squirrels if we chop down our tree?
Ana: Oh, I don't know... maybe they will go to our neighbor's tree.
Me: What if our neighbor decides to chop their tree as well.
Ana: Why would we all want to chop our trees?
Me: Maybe we want some firewood in winter, maybe we want to make paper out of the tree
Ana: Oh, can't we do that with other trees in the forest? Why our tree?
Me: So, you think the trees in the forest don't have any birds living on them?
Ana: Hmm. Maybe there are birds living there too... but, there will be lots more trees there than our one tree here...
Me: What if all our neighbors in our street decide to chop down all their trees?
Ana: Maybe the birds will go to the next street...
Me: What if there are only pine trees in the next street and no flowering trees - what will humming birds do?
...

I know, I am carrying it too far, but, thanks to The Lorax, I have a jump off point for her to think about things like snowball effect and butterfly effect without being bogged down by worldly woes. (Well, OK, not butterfly effect yet...)

After having read many, many children's books and finding many of them disappointing in some way or another, I cannot help but be impressed with Dr.Seuss's body of work. I freely admit that not every book has to have a lesson or a moral but they should at least have some appeal to children.

I agree Ana might not be a universal barometer, but, as that is the only barometer I get to work with for now, I believe Dr.Seuss's books are going to stay with her (and possibly zillions of children around the world) for life.

The two usual complaints I have heard about Dr.Seuss are: 1) he just throws things together that is wacky and frivolous-sounding, not necessarily easy for children to know; and, 2) he just makes up words to make up his meter and have his verses rhyme.

In my little mommy-brain, I believe 1) is easy dispelled if one just picks up the wide array of children's books and tries to make sense of them - Dr.Seuss is a class apart. Children love wackiness, as to them, it is not quite wacky; it is the jaded and warped adult mind that perceives it as so. And, as to 2). well, Shakespeare made up words to fit into his meter, and many of those words are part of our vernacular today. Nothing wrong with that.

And, Ana's favorite piece from Fox on Socks happens to be the last section about Tweetle Beetles, and when I read to her :
When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles
and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...
... they call this
and pause, she gleefully chimes in
a muddle puddle tweetle poodle

Yep! exactly those words, which are the correct words that follow, which even I can't quite remember sometimes... and so, I do believe in the merits of rhymes, meter and phonics. (And, of course, reading the darn thing about 20 times a day!)

More children's books review at Saffron Tree!

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Two Little Words

The tone, the conjugation, in conjunction with the body language conveyed "Thank You" and "Please" in my mother tongue, when I was growing up. I was racking my brain to remember the word for "Please" in Tamil and came up blank... Of course, I do remember the word for "Thank You" in Tamil, reserved for more formal occasions, not necessarily used on a daily basis within immediate family...

Anyway, as I grew up, I knew to say the words "Thank You", in English, and mean it sincerely, even to my immediate family - my parents, my brother, my aunts, my cousins - and not feel in any way distant or formal. And, over the last 15 years here, it has become second nature to use "Thank You" and "Please" appropriately in everyday speech, especially with immediate family.

Around 18-20 months, when Ana started talking discernibly enough, even if not in full sentences, D and I agreed we had to teach her the two little magic words.

We, of course, use it a lot a home with each other, so Ana had plenty to imitate/pick up on. But, I decided to enlist her daycare care-givers' help in this matter and they were quite willing to help me teach my baby some good manners:-)

It started slowly - when Ana would point at her sippy cup and demand "doos!", I would chime in, "Juice, Please?" in an exaggerated way and she would nod her head, most probably trying to relearn that her "doos" is now called "doos please"... but we kept at it.

When D handed her the toy or book she asked, I would pitch in gushingly, "Thank You, Appa!"... and D did the same...

Her teachers at daycare reinforced this every day as well - in almost everything the kids did -viz., "Ana, move away from the table, please", "Ana, pick up the toys, please", "Ana, inside voice, please" and so on...

I did not want this to be forced or contrived, and have her repeat it begrudgingly, without thought. So, we did not compel her to say it. We gently kept reminding her.

After about 6-7 months of this, Ana now seems to have caught on really well.

But, when she started whining a lot right before her second birthday, and she just was getting ready for her tantrum phase, we wanted to discourage the behaviour as best as we could. Rather than making an issue of it every single time she whined, we started telling her that she would get a response if she asks nicely...

She does have lapses, moments of being a willful toddler, when she would whine and fuss... but, she is a baby after all, and she is learning, that's all that matters. But, on such occasions, a gentle reminder by way of, "Ask nicely, please, Ana" delivers the required lightbulb moment for her:-)

One day, around her second birthday a few months ago, she was at the nook, I was in the kitchen, when she wanted some coffee juice, so she simply whined, "Ana ishio kaffe juice!". I simply ignored it as I didn't want to encourage her whining tone. And then she got all the more upset and demanded, "AMMA, ANA ISHIO KAFFEE JOOOOOOS!"

Quivering with guilt as my upbringing told me never to deny a child her food, I managed to simply stand unmoving, barely convincing myself that I am not denying her anything but just helping her learn something important...

Then, just like that, all on her own, the little baby doll had her lightbulb moment without any reminder! In a delicately thin voice, with head tilted gently to one side, coming close to me and tugging my skirt, Ana piped "Amma, Ana ishio kaffee juice P-L-A-Y-S."

I jumped with joy, rushed to get her drink nodding and repeating, "Sure, Ana, hold on OK... good job, let's get you some kaffee juice".

Nowadays, she automatically (perhaps consciously?) adds a "playyyss" (please) when she wants something: "Amma, read the book, playyyss?", "Appa, do the puzzle, playyyss?"...

And, the lilting "playyyss" makes it almost impossible for me to refuse her anything she asks.

Except when she wants to watch her DVD shows back to back, or have cookies and ice cream for dinner, that is.

And every once in a while, she does manage to say, "Thaan-key-oo" as well, and I think she still needs time to know what it means and how to say it with sincerity rather than by rote or force.

For now, I am glad that at least the two little magic words are in her vocabulary and she has a fair idea how to use them...

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Saturday, August 18, 2007

kids crafts: feathered friends


Ana seems to have some fascination for birds in general these days - what with the backyard bustling with blue jays and humming birds and finches and sparrows and what-not.

She seems to have a renewed fascination for feathers - especially the feathers in the kitty toys we have. She sinks her baby teeth into their feathered mice and bird toys and tries to bite off a chunk... also she has this little parrot toy my parents gave her and she seems to like smoothing its feathers... seemed like it was time to have her do some little project with some feathers so she can have some fun:-)


I simply outlined a few birds on card stock paper and dotted all but the head with some craft glue and let Ana loose with a bag of dyed feathers.

When she wanted to add a second layer of feathers, I dotted some more craft glue as needed, sat back, supervised and let her go crazy.

Finally, I let her color the head/face of the bird, which of course, she needed my help with, then I put another dot of glue and let her stick a googly-eye on. She is absolutely fascinated with the googly-eyes (just as I was when I first laid eyes on them) - and each bird had its own branch to perch on, and a unique sort of beak ;-)

The idea was not to create a masterpiece of any sort - just allow Ana to feel the texture of the feathers and try to get a feel for birds' form in general and I think this project was a hit with her.

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Monday, August 13, 2007

setting up expectations

When I was little, around five or six years old, I remember (not fondly) being dragged around to Parry's Corner, Nanganallur, and T.Nagar on the same day, by bus, especially around Navrathri time when my mom goes around town not only to invite friends and family, but to shop for clay dolls for Navrathri Kolu, and some party favors for the guests which included little mirrors and combs and sindoor containers and such.
More on Navarathri and Kolu in another post - it was a festive period I began to enjoy a lot as a teen

I hated going around in the heat, hated not knowing when we will be back home, hated waiting for the bus everywhere, was mad at my mom all the way through for dragging me around when she could have left me home with my books and gone on her own. I constantly nagged her about when we were getting back home, which naturally got on her nerves and she would retort saying, "Well, I'll put you in the bus and get you your ticket, you can go home and I'll finish my outing". Which, of course, would have been fine if I had the sense to agree to it. But, no. I fought that option tooth-and-nail as well...

But, when I was closer to 5th and 6th grade, my mom started setting up expectations for me. She would say, 'here is what I have in mind to finish today, do you think it will be fun for you to come along? maybe we can find some crafts stuff whole-sale for you as well in Parry's Corner'. Now, that certainly helped. I went along. Behaved. Even got into the swing of things and helped my mom pick out stuff.

It is true that as I grew older I was more easy to reason with, and well past the tantrum phase kids go through...

Why am I rambling about this?

Well, since Ana turned two, she has tried to throw a tantrum for nearly everything. Only superhuman patience and developing a fairly thick skin (not to mention a deaf ear) has helped me try to distract her enough to reason with her (as much as you can reason with a 2 year old) and save the peace at home.

However, a couple of months ago, when I was shopping by myself, I saw a very well-behaved 3 or 4 year old who was on the verge of a tantrum because her dad was ready to go and she wasn't. He simply reasoned with her thusly: Sweetie, it is 6 o'clock, we have to get in the car and drive home, then dinner; mom's waiting; so, if we don't hurry out the store now, we will be late for dinner. We will leave in 5 minutes, OK?

And to my surprise, the little girl said, 'OK. 5 minutes, then we can go, dad'.

That's when I got the idea. Not that Ana understands the time intervals. But noting that her tantrums are around the time when I try to transition her activities and she fights for control over what she wants to do, I started setting things up for her like so: Ana, in 5 minutes we get diaper newdd appram*, brush teeth, appram jammies, appram bed time. OK?
newdd=new (in Welsh)
*appram=then/next (in Tamil)

And I leave her alone for 5 minutes, repeating the above statement every minute or so.

Seems to work. By the time I say it the 5th time and call her, she runs to the room to get her diaper changed. While we are getting the new diaper on, I test her: diaper, appram? and she chimes in with 'buss teeth'!

I am pretty sure she doesn't quite understand what "5 minutes" is, but, she happens to be more co-operative and ready to transition these days, as long as we set it up for her.

Many days, when I say: 10 minutes, appram Bath, OK? she screams back with a vehement NO, NO Bath, but, when I persistently keep repeating 10 minutes, appram Bath, OK? she seems to come around in a few minutes - minus her tantrum:-)

Some days, when I begin to sense her restlessness at the store and I am only half way down my list of groceries, I start telling her: 5 minutes, appram milk, appram bread, appram get in the car, appram dan ni'n mynd namma veedu, OK?

And somehow, the tantrum freezes in its tracks as she tries to process it and repeats it, mostly to herself: dan ni'n mynd namma veedu...
dan ni'n mynd=we are going (in Welsh)
namma veedu=our home (in Tamil)

Cross my fingers and hope this lasts!

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

the age-old battle...

A couple of points I have wondered about: 1) Women are biologically primed for child-bearing, child-nurturing/rearing etc. 2) society has defined Man's role as bread-winner/provider.

To be honest, before I had my own baby, I used to dismiss that as hogwash - in this day and age, roles can be reversed - so what if I am biologically birthing the baby, after birth I can hand over the baby to the husband and head out and be the bread-winner, right?

Wrong! At least in my case. The hormones and the surge of maternal biochemistry over which I seemed to have little control made it extremely tough for me to even leave my baby alone in another's care for longer than few hours (even though out of necessity I had to get back to work, leaving Ana in daycare).

Rational thinking flew out the door in a flash under the maternal surges I felt then. I was fiercely possessive, incredibly curious about raising my baby and quite determined to get it all right the first time around.

When Ana wouldn't sleep at night, I stayed up and fed her, rocked her, sang to her - even if it meant doing this every two hours pretty much all night and then heading out to a full-time job the next morning. Obviously within 3-4 months I was a mental wreck, close to nervous breakdown.

When I was not coping well with a new infant and having to get back to work (else we'd be deeper in debt or D would have to find a second job - thanks to the vagaries of IT industry), D quite frankly offered to be a SAHD and let me work full-time if that is the solution I can come up with and agree. I was surprised by my own reaction: I screamed my lungs off saying he wants the "easy way out" and "stay home happily while I slogged and fed the family"!!

Do I envy the SAHM? Not at all! It is hard-work, and best suited for people who have made that choice and stuck to it.

Am I proud to be a WOHM? Not at all! I have made a choice and am trying my best to stick to it and make things work.

Is one inherently better than the other? Clearly not, or we wouldn't be having this age-old battle in our minds.

While I wanted to bring in the income we sorely needed to keep up the middle-class lifestyle, I also wanted to be everything to my baby, caring and nurturing and raising her happy, basking in her development.

As I had written earlier, many women don't come to this decision - of being a WOHM - lightly or easily.

The dance with the numbers is a tough one. We calculated and re-calculated the budget to see if there was any way we could make it meager-er:
--We don't have cable or DirecTV or any such additional expense;
--we have basic land-line phone with no extras like call-waiting, call-forwarding or even voicemail, as we have a good cell phone deal and have relied on it for all our telephonic needs;
--we buy in bulk from Costco and buy our groceries from local farms getting mostly seasonal produce and maybe some other fancy stuff from one of the eclectic places nearby, plus growing our own as much as possible (season-permitting);
--we are very careful about electricity - unplug wall outlets when not in use (except TV, of course), turn off lights as soon as we exit the area, energy-star rated dishwasher/fridge/oven/water-heater etc.,;
--we decided to use only one car for all our needs (keeping the second one only for emergencies) and plan the shopping trips and commute to work/daycare and such to minimize waste...

Now, if only just recovering the daycare expense by being an SAHM would have made our budget balance better...

Circumstances arranged themselves to make it a necessity for me to supplement D's income. I try to look upon it as a partnership where the sole burden of providing for the family should not rest on his shoulders. By the same token, D looks at raising Ana as a partnership and has helped a lot in taking care of her say two or three evenings a week to give me a couple of hours off to take care of myself and my needs.

A lot of Life is about compromise, planning and doing what seems best under the given constraints.

Either I can complain about it, or, find a good work around to establish some semblance of balance in my world.

My solution was to look at a job as just a job, not a career path, not something that would define me in the long run, but something that helps me raise my family in a comfortable way.

Also, my mom is my role-model in that sense - she worked as a teacher all her life, and raised us, and is a great cook and does wonderful crafts and sewing and such. So, naturally, I consider myself a failure if I can't do at least as much as she showed me it was possible to do.

Besides, we kids turned out fine despite my mom being a WOHM, so, I am possibly not depriving Ana of a well-rounded childhood by not being an SAHM...

But, the day and age in which my mom worked is different from my work situation. At least as far as IT goes, when projects need to be delivered on a deadline, one cannot excuse oneself and work only from 9-5 and head home and forget all about it until the next day.

That aside, my mom had neighbors and family around to walk us kids to school, bring us back, feed us, play with us and know we are safe even if my mom (and dad) had to work late some days. Such resources are hard to come by here, unless one is very lucky indeed!

Also, who doesn't want to be one's own boss, and command one's time as one wishes, instead of pretty much being a bonded laborer on someone else's clock and payroll? Alas! Not many of us really have that luxury, except sincerely wish for circumstances that let us make such a decision and abide by it - for better or worse...

But, would I be happier as an SAHM? I'll never know... but, all I know is happiness is a state of mind that comes from accepting the situation one is given and making the best of it, drawing a sense of contentment about the way things are instead of constantly trying to make the current situation better.

As I had written in another post, the need for perfection, the need for things to be a certain way before one can feel inner peace, is clearly convoluted, and conflicts with achieving the said inner peace.

If we are striving for something to be better than it currently is, well, therein lies the paradox...

Somehow, despite all the Feminism and Equal Rights, it irks me when D suggests that it is not fair for him to bear the sole burden of providing for the family. Especially when "providing for the family" involves more than the basic Food, Clothing and Shelter.

Why have I subconsciously come to accept that the Man should not have a choice? Why am I worked up about making my choice, knowing that I have the luxury to make a choice, whereas upset when the roles are reversed?

Rhetorical as these questions may be, sometimes, there are no easy answers to our brooding. Hopefully, I am making the choice that is right for my situation, just as other women have done over generations and will continue to do way past my lifetime...

An edited version of this post also up at DMC...


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Sunday, August 05, 2007

24-piece jigsaw puzzle


Despite having a nice little room mostly child-proofed, filled with all her favorite books and toys, Ana likes to hang out in the living room if I am there, or in the nook by the kitchen if I am in the kitchen.

She is quite independent, does her own thing, but, prefers to hang out where either D or I happen to be working. And, likes to occupy the whole sofa and living room floor with her toys and books! I have given up on straightening out the house - by the time she is 4 years old, she will know and understand better - till then, I just say to the guests, "welcome to my house, try not to trip on any toys".

Ever since she was 14-15 months old and had enough dexterity to pick up the pieces and place them where she thought they should go, Ana has been doing puzzles - some newer Melissa & Doug™ wood puzzles as well as a few older wood puzzles that belonged to D. She progressed from simple ones to 9-piece to 18-piece jigsaw puzzles by age 2.

Slowly she has now graduated to 24-piece puzzles. She seems to love them. When I get her a new one, she forsakes all other toys for a few hours and makes me sit with her pleading, "Amma, let's do the puzzle. Amma, Ana ishio do the puzzle, please!" (Yep, the little booger says "please" whenever she wants something badly).

So, when I gave her this new 24-piece jigsaw animal puzzle, I knew I had to clear my schedule for the next hour or more, to help her do it over and over.

Now, she is possessive, so, she doesn't actually let me do the puzzle and I don't want to do it for her. I simply sit next to her and ask her a few strategic questions like: "Hm., here's a frog head, where's the rest of the frog, Ana?" or "Where did the bunny ears go?" and such so that she looks around the pile and finds the jigsaw piece with the rest of the frog, or the bunny ear and knows to put the pieces in the right place.

A lot of it is pattern recognition, and once she gets the large picture and what patterns to look for, she simply grabs the next nearest piece and places them where they should go without really trying to do them in any particular order.

It would have worried me a bit if she always did them in the same order - would make me suspect rote or mechanical or memorized way of putting the jigsaw pieces together, but, she seems to be doing it in her own way each time, talking to herself, asking the questions like I did the first few times:"Where is the goldfish?" "Oh, here it is" and so on...

Sometimes, she'll pick a piece and know that she might need at least one more in place before she can fit it, so, she'll say to the piece, "No, you go back. Not yet" and continue to do the puzzle...

It is a lot of fun to just hang around quietly and watch her do the larger jigsaw puzzles these days. After the initial few rounds, that is.

I got her a slightly more challenging 6-in-1 block puzzle of farm animals and already she is beginning to show enough interest...

More on Baby Puzzles here...


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