Riding the Unicycle while on Stilts

As much as I swore to myself about not jotting down potty training woes with Og, I am here now.

Watching me sitting at the sewing table swearing to myself in my mother tongue, not sewing, but generally on the verge of bawling, The Other Adult casually asked, "What are you mad about?".

That's all it took for the floodgates to be thrown open, spewing forth an honest answer of "I am mad at the Universe! I mean, if the kids are expected to use the potty by the time they can sit up or walk, why hasn't Evolution taken care of programming this in by now?"

Because it is supposed to be an acquired skill, and not innate as it has nothing much to do with survival. Much like riding a unicycle or walking on stilts has nothing much to do with survival, but comes with diligent practice.

All the well-meaning 'no kid has gone to college in diapers', 'it's not the end of the world' etc., while rational and sensible, don't do much by way of alleviating the exasperation that sometimes sets in.

Sure, in the light of genocide, poverty, and the general depravity of Human Soul, this issue is obscenely trivial and I have no business mentioning it.

However, as this article suggests, albeit in a totally different context, sometimes venting is just that - a release.

Not a complaint, not a search for some quick solution, not an invitation to be scrutinized under a microscope, not a petition to be patronized, but just a plain and simple disclosure to purge the mounting negativity, take a deep breath, and brace oneself for summiting the next peak in Life's endless mountain range.

Each kid is different.
What works for one won't necessarily work for another.
Some take longer and that's OK.
I am not a bad person because my kid didn't get out of diapers at age one or younger.
Parents have a hand in the matter, but, kids train themselves as soon as they feel ready. Parents like to take credit for it at times, though.
Ana got trained when she was ready, not before. I was at the end of the tether then, just like I feel now. (Thanks for your timely help, Mom!)
It's OK to shake a fist and scream silently at having to clean the carpet and floor, not to mention soiled undies, several times each day.
Books and "advice" are much like throwing darts on an invisible dartboard while blindfolded - one of them might actually hit the bulls-eye purely randomly, but, it might take a zillion tries.
Stock up on Patience and Encouragement. Especially Patience. Loads of it.

Mission Ongoing: Potty Training

Thought I must write a quick update on the potty training efforts as we've had a bit of a breakthrough: Ana poops in her potty now!! (She has been peeing all along successfully, of course)

She is in panties all through the day, asking to pee and poop as needed and using the potty consistently. She still needs pull-ups for nights as she is not quite aware of her potty needs at nights yet... all in good time...

Of course, now that she doesn't want diapers anymore as she is a "big sister" and only babies wear diapers and poop in them, we have to schedule extra time and plan a proper route to get anywhere: the other day I was in a rush to get to the doctor for Baby Oggie's checkup and we were strapped and ready to go, and 10 minutes into the drive (far enough from home, yet not close enough to the doctor's) Ana starts crying that her tummy hurts and she needs to poop "right now" :)

C'est la vie... so, I had to find a fast food place and lug the infant seat and drag Ana in and take them both into the nasty little public restroom so Ana can avoid pooping her panties before we get to the doctor...

Oh the joys of mommyhood :)

peeing in installments

Makes me feel evil for thinking this. I should be convinced she is incapable of such guile at this tender age. I should always think the best of my precious little baby doll... but, there it is - I do have a sneaking suspicion that she is withholding her pee on purpose and lets them out in small installments, a few drops at a time, and I think I know why.

See, we had set up a reward system of 2 mini M&Ms, plus a sticker every time Ana successfully pees in her potty. Which she has been doing since Nana's visit in October.

The minute she declares "I wanna pee", D or I whoever is nearby, (usually me, even if by conventional measurements I am several feet away in the next room while Ana is practically attached to D's pant-legs), are conditioned to drop everything, run to turn the light on in the bathroom where her little potty awaits deposit.

While it was exciting at first to rush and turn the light on and help her get her bare bottom positioned over the receptacle, it has become increasingly annoying over the last few weeks, degrading to a contest of wills between D and me about who can hold out the longest without responding, feigning busy-ness. Note to self: ask D if he can set up alternate lighting system for bathroom that Ana can reach and safely turn on by herself.

Especially, for some reason, when we sit for dinner together and Ana decides she doesn't like the nutritious spread thoughtfully put together just for her by her mommy (I mean, what's not to like about pasta+peas+carrots, chickpeas, yogurt and a small quarter of a PBJ sandwich for dessert?) she declares "I wanna pee... tunn on light pleese"... and somehow manages to let out a careful 5 drops, hold the rest in, wipe herself, get a sticker and run out to the kitchen to get her treat!

And when I try to barter Eat 2 pieces of carrot, then you get the treat, she wails like her whole world has come crashing down. And not wanting to confuse the reward system and jeopardize the potty training which is still unfinished as she won't poop in her potty, I cave in. She gets her 2 mini M&Ms and agrees to sit at the table again with us to finish dinner.

But... you guessed right: 2 minutes later comes the pained declaration "I wanna pee... tunn on light pleese...". The most so far is 5 times in a row, each about 2 to 3 minutes apart. If only my glares and muttered curses at having to get up so often within a space of 15 minutes to accompany Ana to the potty could manifest in some material form, it could fill the house.

The redeeming feature is that she only does it around meal time, especially when she doesn't like her meal. Her daycare teacher assures me she lets it all out and even stays dry during her nap. And sure enough, about 70% of the time at home, say weekends and most mornings, she pees a good 3-4 ounces all at one go, no fuss...

At first I suspected some urinary tract infection or something screwy and knotted my innards with horrible scenarios. But during the last visit with her doctor she seems to check out fine, so, I am inclined to attribute a tiny bit of deviousness to her new pattern...

Ah! the taste of things to come...

Meet Miss Polly Pees-a-lot

A while back I crocheted this Irish hooded capelet/poncho for a special little girl - my dear friend R's baby girl barely 15 months old.

This crochet capelet/poncho is being modeled by little Miss Polly Pees-a-lot, Ana's latest friend - a gift from her Nana.

And, no, I did not name her. Since Enid paapaa and Olga paapaa were named by me and Ana, we let D come up with a suitable name for the new doll.

We got what we asked for!

Now, Miss Polly Pees-a-lot, aka "Polly paapaa", drinks water from her baby bottle and when you seat her on her little special potty, she pees!! Also, she eats food (special food designed just for her), and when you seat her on her potty just right, she poops it all out! And, Nana, who was here a while back decided to get it for Ana to help encourage Ana to use the potty.

Polly has strategic openings to let out the water and the poop. She came with a cleaning tube thingy so we can clean her out in case she gets clogged. Of course, food sold separately.

Thanks to Nana's visit, with intensive training at home over 3 days, Ana happily pees in the potty now!! Yay!!

She asks to go, even dumps her little pan of pee into the toilet and flushes - asks for wipe and wipes herself, then washes her hands with soap and water.

All of this is done with such an urgency and anticipation because of the reward system: she gets to put a sticker on her potty for every time she successfully uses it, which is only secondary attraction to getting 2 whole mini M&Ms as treat for peeing in the potty successfully!

Ana still won't poop in the potty, she prefers to soil a fresh diaper for that. But, she loves to wear her panties. She wears pull-ups at daycare, and panties at home.

And if she knows she wants to poop, she directly asks for a diaper and as soon as we put it on, she soils it and asks to be changed into panties again!

Whatsup with that? I have no idea... but, when we try to encourage her to poo in the potty, she starts with-holding and it leads to constipation. Her pediatrician seems to think it is best to just put her in her diaper for a while and get her used to at least letting it out and not constipating herself...

potty training enterprise 1

At about 18-20 months we started introducing the potty concept to Ana and bought her a little potty.

She would sit on it with her clothes on. And, I would take her with me when I needed to go and she would sit and pretend to make a deposit, unsuccessfully...

This went on fine for a while and she agreed to go diaper-free most evenings when we get back home. But, she still didn't actually make an effort to deposit.

So, D bought her this Go, Girl, Go Potty! book, which seemed to have some positive influence on her and she immediately caught on about sitting on the potty bare-bottomed and then washing her hands with soap and water afterwards.

Still no consistent deposit even after 2-3 months of cajoling. And, I did not believe in forcing her as she ended up crying a lot and hating the experience... pretty counter-productive!

Then, D rented this Potty Power DVD from Netflix for her. It seemed to have caught her attention. The songs are catchy, the kids were fun and she seemed to get the concept by now. Just not the motivation.

To help with the motivation factor, seeing her sticker fancy, we even set up a system where she gets a sticker to put on her potty when she makes a successful liquid or solid waste deposit.

Which seemed to work for a while - she collected about half a dozen stickers in a row and then not sure what happened, she decided to protest.

She started holding until it was diaper time and no amount of patient encouragement induced her to try peeing/pooping in the potty. The holding got quite extreme that she ended up constipating herself!

Then, we eased up a little, and tried again after a week or so. She would sit on the potty, quite happily, and read her books too, but, would simply hold it in - the stubborn monkey!

If we catch her sneaking off to a corner behind the sofa and grunting and straining, and ask her to come and sit on the potty, she would scream and ask us to go away and start holding it in again... so, we had to really back off for a while.

Anyway, then D kept playing this Japanese video from YouTube for her and she seemed to want to try again and she has been making progress...

It would help if she gets consistent and intensive training, but, daycare doesn't seem to offer that service - with their hands full minding several kids, I am sure the daycare care-givers would groan and protest if parents want to tack on this added responsibility to them.

So, we have been doing what little we can on evenings and weekends...

My contention has been that she will outgrow this diaper phase in her own time (hopefully by age 3) and that I needn't worry about it too much. As an incentive, much against my wish^†, I got her Elmo™ and Hello Kitty™ panties which she seems eager to wear all evening, till bedtime even, most days. My mom doesn't remember really putting much effort into potty training us - when we had to go, we went, and got washed up - so did the floor and what-not.

^†My mom sent about two dozen bloomer-style soft cotton panties from India with generic flower patterns, in pretty colors, sold at about 3 panties per dollar, but, somehow, these character-panties sold at about 3 panties for six dollars seem to have won by sheer Marketing ploy and through extended exposure at daycare.

But, D is convinced that without dedicated training and effort, it will not happen. And, he cannot wait for her to be fully potty trained - he hates buying diapers, but daycare insists on disposable diapers for hygiene and convenience, naturally.

We probably will intensify the approach around Thanksgiving break when we have a few days off and can consistently remind her to go and try...

We'll see how that goes...

can't fool me, Amma

Ana likes to sit on her little potty every time we ask her about it. Or every time I need to use the toilet, she likes to follow me in and ape me.

She giggles excitedly when grabbing a long piece of toilet paper and throwing it in her little potty, which sits next to the big potty.

Then, she likes to pull the flush lever on the big potty when she is done pretending to do her business... she never has actually successfully deposited any droppings in her little potty so far.

All in good time.

What I find cute is, she now knows to pull her pants down and take off her diaper before sitting on her little potty. Hurray to elastic-waist pants. I am waiting for summer when i can let her run around in the buff so potty training will be even easier...

Of course, after declaring she is all done and jiggling the flush lever on the big potty, she wants "dye-po noudh" (diaper newdd, newdd=new in Welsh). She promptly opens the cabinet door under the sink, and throws her old diaper away clearly stating, "taash" (trash).

Perfect so far.

But, even if the diaper is quite unsoiled, and has just been put on her a few seconds before the potty visit, she wants to throw it away.

Being the penny-pinching (environmentally conscious) mom that i am, i tried to save the diaper before she threw it in the trash, in an attempt to use it again. (She does use cloth diapers on and off on weekends when we are at home...)

Anyway, so, I tried to sneak the few-seconds-old, barely-used, potentially-reusable diaper back into one of the closet shelves where we keep her diapering essentials. Well, seriously, it was bone dry, and i had just put it on her a few seconds before she decided to take it off... i wouldn't compromise hygiene, no way!

At diaper change time, I pulled out the barely-used diaper to put on her. She noticed that it was not quite brand new and started kicking up a fuss, repeating: "no, Amma, No. Ana ishio dye-po noudh" until i put on a spanking new one on her. (ishio=eisiau, Welsh for want)

Right after, she picked up the said barely-used one and took it to the diaper-trash-can and threw it in clearly stating, "Amma, ditty dye-po" (dirty diaper).

I laughed and let it go. But, made a mental note to fold and press the barely-used one next time so that it looked more like new. My mommy-brain reasoned that her main objection might have been to the fact that it was a little crumpled and didn't have the brand new look.

So, last evening, I tried the same trick again, when Ana took off her 2-second-old diaper... i folded it flat and brought it out to the changing-mat on the bed where i change her.

Of course, there is no fooling her!

Like she knew what I had been up to, Ana kicked and screamed, wouldn't let me put the barely-used one on, actually supervised me till i threw it away, and got on a brand new one!

She will be two in two months or so. And, I am trying as best as I can to encourage her to get potty trained... At this rate, we might be solely turning a profit for the diaper industry over the next few months...